Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize