Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
