Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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