last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
