I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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