I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
