Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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