they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
