i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
