and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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