my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
