Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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