your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
