i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
