ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
