there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm too high and old for this...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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