you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
