Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
