Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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