i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize