So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
