I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
