i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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