is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
