We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
