Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
