Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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