I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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