Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
