Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Acid is not a monday night drug
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
