Dual....:-)
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
