Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
