But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize