yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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