why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
