you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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