So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
