in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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