North Korea, Best Korea!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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