And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
