We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
