Define "chronic" masturbator.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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