The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
