gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
