I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
