We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
