i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
