i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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