sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Jerry, you need to find god
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
