I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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